When a family makes a commitment to a child care program, they’ve made a statement that they trust the provider to keep their child safe and healthy, and provide an educational and loving environment for that child to grow in. This can be the first step to a strong and long-lasting relationship when educators take the time to intentionally build that with the families of children in their care.

Why is it beneficial to build relationships between educators and families? Often, child care educators are a family’s first experience with having an unrelated adult care for their child. As the introduction to extrafamilial care, child care providers set the tone for the way families engage with all of their child’s education. Setting the stage with warm and caring professional relationships will support families engaging with all of the systems that they will participate in with their child.

A strong relationship between family and child care provider also directly and immediately benefits the child. Family child care educators and families are the people who spend the most time with a child and are in the best position to advocate for them and support their growth and development. When families and educators build strong relationships together, they can communicate more effectively when concerns or disagreements arise. Maintaining relationships with families offers educators the opportunity to better understand every child, and it can give families the comfort necessary to participate in the child’s program and share the interests and skills with the educator and children.

How do family childcare educators seize this opportunity to connect with families and build those professional relationships?

• Start before day one: Although families already have plenty of paperwork to do to enroll, some educators add a “getting to know you” page where families can answer questions that will support the provider in understanding their families history, preferences, and needs. Some sample questions include:
  • What language(s) does your child hear and speak at home?
  • Who lives in your child’s home(s), including pets? Who do they visit with frequently?
  • What do you like to do as a family?
  • What does your child typically choose to play with?
• Tell a story: The days can get busy, but proactively making note of something the child said or enjoyed during the day to communicate with families at departure time will maintain that relationship. Prioritizing face to face communication, even for you a minute or two at a time, will make bigger conversations easier when they become necessary. This doesn’t have to happen every day for every child, but the first few days a child is in a program are extra important for making this connection.
• Invite them in: When children are interested in a subject that a parent knows about, or the opportunity for a field trip arises, inviting families in either individually or as a group to share their experience or supervise a trip will build bonds and memories. 

For Reflection:

What one action can I add to my day that will help build those reciprocal relationships with families?

What do you do when you first meet a family that is looking for care? Know who you are and what you value in your program. When you are clear about who you are and what you offer, families can and will self-select out if their values strongly differ from yours. It can be difficult to do tours and not end up with families enrolled, but it will save a lot of stress down the line in the form of fewer unmet expectations and less conflict.

Start by showing off your worth and your values. Your QRIS rating and an explanation of what you had to do to accomplish it will show families that you are dedicated to the profession. Show families how safe your environment is and what children do there throughout the day–or what they will do, if you don’t have children enrolled yet!. Talk about your schedule, show photos if you have them of children engaged day to day, and talk about anything you provide– snacks and meals, special activities, field trips, newsletters or an update app, or anything else. Share your mission and vision with them, so they understand how you see your role in the care and education of their children. Have a handout or follow-up email to leave them with that has some information about your program they might want to review later, such as hours of operation and calendar of closures, meals provided, your mission/vision statement, philosophy, anything else that will make your program stand out, along with enrollment information including deposit and materials fees, tuition amount and frequency, and any required application paperwork. Some providers also include a small “about your provider” section, where they outline their qualifications and write a very short autobiography.

Now how can you assess whether a family would be a good fit for your program? Keep in mind that you should have and follow a nondiscrimination policy; consult with your licensor and/or child care resource and referral agency or see your CACFP Civil Rights Training for more information. Also keep in mind ADA requirements for enrolling children with disabilities. More information on that can be found here: Know the Law about the Americans With Disabilities Act — Child Care Law Center.

Now, provided you are not turning a family away because of their demographic or perceived abilities, what are you looking for? What creates “goodness of fit” between provider and family? One phenomenon to be aware of is “ingroup bias,” where people are more likely to give the benefit of the doubt to people who they believe are more like them, whether that is cultural background, religious beliefs, or even something as minor as sports team affiliation. When you need to choose one family to offer care to, consider whether ingroup bias may be impacting who you are and aren’t offering spaces to.

Ask families about themselves.  Why are they looking for care now– are they leaving another program?  What do they need and want from a child care program? Have they had experiences previously of their needs being met or not met at another program? Be honest with them and yourself about whether your program is designed to meet their needs.

Being able to turn down families if you see that this would not be a good fit is difficult, but necessary. This is one reason to interview families even when you don’t have an immediate opening– it can be much easier to end interviews with “I’ll be in touch if there’s a space for you” rather than determining on the spot if you think the family would or would not be a good fit.

One of the best ways to find families that will be a good fit for your program is word of mouth. When a current family recommends another, you start off with a good impression on the new family and is a good indication that your values are likely to align as well. You can let families know in your newsletter or other updates if you know you’ll have spaces coming up or ask current families to “share” social media posts or post reviews on Google or Facebook.

Taking the time to plan out your interviews and tours will pay off in the form of long-term clients and positive relationships with families. This is a process that will take some refining, so don’t be afraid to experiment and play with your approach until you find something you’re comfortable with.