I have been a mother and a provider for over 10 years now so I definitely have my opinion as to when and how things should be done on the timeline of child development. Yet I need to keep an open mind to suggestions and requests of the parents. Are they asking for something because they are “high maintenance”, are they uneducated in child development and DAP, or is there actually a bultural reason behind their care request? Maybe they are just asking to have things done the way they were raised. Maybe the favor is standard to their people group or heritage. I need to know when they need educated or informed on child development or my program policies and when I can change my typical behavior to meet their needs. We can compromise. We will need open dialogue, maybe a full conference, but I’m sure we can make things work.
I often run into this with potty training. Parents want to have it done and over with around the second birthday. However, my years of experience tell me that most children are ready closer to the third birthday. I spend a lot of time talking with parents, reassuring them that the child will give us signals, that we cannot rush it. We talk about possible techniques and supplies that are helpful. But ultimately I let the parents set the agenda. I say often “we’ll do what you’re doing at home. consistency is the key!”. If they want to do pull ups or timed breaks or MnMs for rewards, we will make it work.